I set my alarm clock at 8 AM, as it was announced that the funeral mass for a dear friend, would be at 2 PM, Philippine time. She died on 4 August 2022, after several hours in comatose. The cause was a bleeding in the brains after she got out of balance in the toilet and fell down on the floor. I do not know yet the exact medical findings as of writing.
There was no online funeral mass. I just said a silent special prayer with a heavy heart.
Few days back, my son always told me to go home, repeatedly saying the same line. He did not say other words to me. Perhaps it was the time that the mother of his close friend who was like an elder brother to him, was in a critical condition, and he was feeling his pains. He did not tell me anything related to this. I learned the news from my youngest daughter who advised me to talk to my godson, for comfort and strength, while the mother was fighting for life in the hospital.
It was a devastating news. Last month she celebrated her 71st birthday, and she was happy replying to my greetings, telling me how she did, they did, miss me. I knew it was sincerely said.
Her only one son was my grandson, now a husband and a father to a very cute baby boy. Thanks God she saw his wife and grandson before she died, and had some time taking care of them.
It was still very vivid in my mind when my mother and I visited her mother-in-law (rest in peace) in the early 80's. We were sitting on their wooden chair on the bamboo floor inside their cool house near ours, when she and her niece arrived from Baguio City. They had fair skin complexion, flawless, and the faces were blushing like apples, maybe because they came from the Pines City of the Philippines.
Later they transferred to a big house newly constructed for the young family, just a few steps away from the parents' home. It took eight (8) years for them to wait for the baby (my godson), and shortly after he was orphaned, and she, a grieving widow. Her husband was a military man but was unfortunately ambushed. Perhaps the house was designed that way so she could rent it out to have additional income to get through every single day. She put up a small store near the kitchen to earn more and to keep herself busy while raising the boy, who turned out to be a responsible man, and an information technology savvy.
My son told me that the last time he talked to her, she was proud of and happy for getting vaccinated with the 1st anti-COVID19 booster.
Last year, her niece mentioned on our FB chat that she (auntie) suffered from depression so she did her best, being in nursing field who was experienced in handling healthcare services for the elders, to talk to her 'tita' (auntie) via video calls. She was like a dear daughter to her, I know -- both lucky to have each other.
I can understand it fully well. It is very difficult to be alone. Being abandoned by a husband is painful as it happened to me, but it is far more tremendously painful to be left by a loving spouse due to untimely death.
Coping with unparalleled loneliness is one of the hardest stages of being widowed. Many people will not understand it until it happens to them.
We call the spouse a better half, not just a good half, if you happen to find one. Losing him / her is like losing a better part of you. Things shift upside down.
If you are a child orphaned by both parents, it is an unimaginable experience, particularly at an early age. It is good if there is a strong support system from the living family members as they will help in navigating from experiencing trauma to gaining emotional stability, one day at a time.
Psalm 68 : 05 NIV says,
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.
Being a widow myself, I passionately meditate on this.
At the moment, I am really grieving for the loss of a dear friend, a loving mother and daughter, a caring auntie and landlady, an unselfish giver of whatever she could afford to share to others. My thoughts and prayers are with my godson and the soul of his beloved mother.
She is in the best place now, in God's holy dwelling. The Almighty Creator will always be a father to her fatherless son, and my fatherless children, too. He will be my great defender.
Psalm 82 : 3 - 4
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them (us) from the hand of the wicked.
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Image credits : Pixabay / pixelheart
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