How Not to be a Scaredy-Cat

There are times when you feel that you are like a scaredy-cat -- timid, afraid and coward. You have a huge potential and power inside you, but you have a larger-than-life fear that eats all of you, and keeps your feet glued to where you are or you step back away from your goals.

What is it really -- fear of failure, or fear of success? On the surface, we think that it is fear of failure, but analyzing it deeper, it is fear of success. Why? Because those who do not fear success do not fear failures. They know that in the journey to success, failures are like stepping stones that lead their way there.

Looking back, I, like others, had some mistakes in life. It all boils down to same questions:  Did you choose wisely -- courage or fear? If courage, no problem. If fear, fear of success or fear of failure?

I was young and obedient to my parents. I belong to Generation X with conservative elders and their words must be respected like a general's command that must be obeyed. If your mother is a strong Catholic devotee, you would be taught to follow the rules, period, because 'obedience is good for the soul'. 

One thing I learned which is bible-based, is -- failure is not fatal. Failure will not kill you. You will not die when you fail. And while there is life, there is always hope to succeed. Well, the fighting spirit is very good for the soul.

Erick Schenkel, the executive director of Jesus Film Project, has an interesting blog on "5 Biblical Characters who Prove that Failure is Not Fatal".  Related stories revolve around:

1. King David's sin >>
2. The Prophet Elijah's breakdown >>
3. John Mark's desertion >>
4. Paul's awful history >>
5. Peter's denial of Christ >>

Life is a trial-and-error thing. We are human beings and we make mistakes but this does not mean that we are doomed to fail and be sad for our entire life. We were not born to fail and weep all days of our life, so even if we do not succeed many times in what we engage in, we must not have unreasonable or excessive fears.

Our childhood has an impact when we grow old and have to decide on many important things. We cannot and we should never blame our elders including our parents if they advised us to do this and that. It is not kind of controlling strategy, but more of molding and shaping us in the way they know best, based on their collective experiences and limited knowledge, so their system is entirely different from ours. What may be good and effective to their generation during their period, may not apply well in us in our times. But there is nothing wrong to listen to their pieces of advice as most of them are time-tested.

The first thing to do to avoid that feeling of a scaredy-cat, is to have an awareness and acceptance that failure is a part of our journey, and it is not fatal. So never, never blame anyone including yourself in case you experience failure along the way. Blaming produces negative energy as it stimulates anger and hatred, and it weakens your system.

Winston Churchill said,

Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.

The second thing to do is to flip it up from fear to courage which leads to victory.  Every time you experience failure, rise and have the courage to continue. Every hero was an ordinary or average man until he unleashes that power and huge courage enables him to make a difference in the lives of many people.

Learn more by talking to men and women of substance, which is not just based on what material things they possess, but on the depths of their thoughts -- that is why they are called thought leaders. Some of them may have reached their goals of success and happiness in all areas of their lives, and many of them have not yet, nevertheless, you will get wisdom from their stories of success and failures. Their stories will help you gather your courage to continue in your journey, and it counts a lot. Sometimes it is not wrong to compare other people with you if it will inspire and make you feel better. If they can do it, why cannot you? If they did or do not quit, why will you?

The third thing to do is to heavily guard and protect your brains because they create your thoughts and control your actions. Feed them with mostly natural foods with the right nutrients and health benefits. Avoid illegal drugs, alcohols and substances that will weaken and destroy the brains. If you think they are boosters and will help you to think and feel good, you are wrong. It is easy to remove the dirt from the filters of the air conditioner so we will not inhale them. Despite urinating a lot or flushing out, it is difficult and impossible to remove all the harms caused by illegal drugs, alcohols and substances from our body particularly from our nerves. Their target is always the brains.

There are people who love fantasies and hallucinations to escape from harsh realities even for some hours, but these lead to more hours, and days, and months, and years, and even the remaining years in their lifetime. They are afraid of failures, pains and discomfort, and because of that, they detach themselves from the real world.

The real world has soldiers in warm bodies. They get rigid trainings to tame the demons in their minds. They go out of their comfort zones, and when they are deployed to the war zones, come hell they will risk their lives for a purpose bigger than life itself -- to serve and protect their country.

In each of us, there is a battle in the mind. Master the art and science of protecting your brains.

The fourth thing to do is to think that it is you and you alone who will be responsible with your own life.  With that responsibility comes the awareness that life is a gift that must be appreciated and taken care of. No man is an island and we need the support system of our family, relatives and close friends. But even if they help if you do not embrace your responsibility to protect and love your very own life, nothing matters. Never lose the enthusiasm to go on living, despite difficulties, because you were born for a reason.

There are many depressed people who committed suicide because they could not endure all pains and difficulties. Their courage to continue living stopped because their awareness of their responsibility to take care of their precious lives was covered with darkness. When the contagion effect is strong, do hack your mind and very strongly resolve not to be included in their list. There is a way, there must be a way, to make the best of your life and not end up like them. Have the courage to find the path to a happy life.

The fifth thing to do is is to believe that you are strong, brave, fearless, and were born to win. Your belief must be grounded on something that will make you strong. If your current belief makes you weak, it is time to reevaluate it and if needed, have a transition.  Change is difficult as you are used to the old one, as it became a habit, but if change is needed, do it. Have faith.

Isaiah 41 : 10 NIV --

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Do not fear. Never fear. Take a look at strong people who experience difficulties in life but they are calm and hopeful. They may lack the riches of the world which others have but they have that abundant source of courage which defeats timidity, that claimed lives of many despite their status in life, riches and fame. They find joy in all circumstances. Courage is priceless and cannot be bought.

2 Timothy 1 : 7 NIV --

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

So think of it. God gave you the Spirit that does not make you scaredy-cat.

The Spirit gives you the power to do what you want to do with your inventory of talents, time and treasure, whatever it is.

The Spirit gives you love, and love conquers the works of the demons, including fears.

The Spirit gives you self-discipline, to master yourself, to be in control of yourself, to regulate yourself for improvement, to exercise your leadership in your own 'government' (yourself) that you alone can contain, and to properly use your own will power -- and in doing so, to choose wisely.

Passionately meditate on the above, and you will find yourself ready to face the world with courage. At certain points, you have to back off, because that is the courageous thing to do, given a certain situation and repercussions if you do not -- in the light of choosing wisely what to do next. Be strong and fearless within the bounds of reality.

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Photo credits:  Pixabay