Maturity in the Bud

Is there something wrong in my blog title, "Maturity in the Bud"? Maturity suggests full development while bud, the compact growth in a plant that develops into a flower.

There are many adult people who look like they are mature already, but when we get closer to them and observe how they react to certain situations they lack maturity. And there are young people who think and act ahead of their ages, and we label them as mature ones.

We digest maturity on a psychological view, which has something to do with the mental and emotional state of a person. According to Wikipedia, "In psychology, maturity is the ability to respond to the environment aware of the correct time and location to behave and knowing when to act, according to the circumstances and the culture of the society one lives in."

So it is the ability to respond to the environment according to the two (2) factors of the society one lives in --

1. circumstances -- a fact or condition connected with or relevant to an event or action, and;
2. culture -- ideas, customs and social behavior of a particular people or society

The response is the behavior or action with tact as there must be an awareness of the correct time and location. Simply worded, it is the ability to say or do the right thing at the right place at the right time, without making anyone unhappy or angry, based on his circumstances and culture.

Per Wikipedia, "Adult development and maturity theories include the purpose in life concept, in which maturity emphasizes a clear comprehension of life's purpose, directedness, and intentionality, which contributes to the feeling that life is meaningful."

We know some people who look like living a purpose-driven life, seemingly on the right track, decorated with many achievements and awards, enjoying comfortable life and feeling that they have the right maturity. But there are times when they say or do things the wrong way, the blunt way, making others unhappy or angry because their specific conditions and culture are not taken into consideration. They become tactless that at the wrong place and wrong time they say and do things the wrong way. So with a closer look, the maturity is in the bud. It has yet to grow.

There are situations when some people do not know that the right response to the environment or situation is to nip something in the bud (to stop, cease or prevent something at the beginning of early phase before it becomes too difficult or unmanageable). They speak bluntly to the person who knows the circumstances and culture related to the situation or environment, better than they do.

I do not want to call it immaturity when they have maturity in the bud. It is like looking at the glass half full and half empty, and when you are asked about the content, your answer depends on your life outlook. So needless to say, I want to say 'maturity in the bud', not 'immaturity' -- and this depends on many factors, too.

This reminds me of my former British operations director. I was then the company business development manager. He always asked me when there was a situation, "What do you think? What would be the best to do?" He checked the inputs of other people, particularly those whom he trusted most, to consider circumstances and culture, then process such in his brains, and finally say and do the right thing at the right place at the right time. His decision earlier may change later, and that is called flexibility, or fluidity, which depends on things that may change from time to time. When you are a leader, you have to be flexible and fluid like water, and act with maturity.

Maturity requires common sense, which comes from brains signals after processing all inputs (based on circumstances and culture of a person or group of people), from intuition and gut feeling, to behave, or to say and/or act in response to the environment. You do not act on an impulse that will bring you temporary happiness but may put you on long-term danger.

Maturity requires rejecting the perks that make your safety and security compromised. For example, there are apps which require you to give your private information and access to your device functionality, in return for a free download. Maturity will dictate you not to download it. Nip it in the bud. Nip it in the bud. Nip it in the bud. Cut the chance for them to steal your peace and happiness. This is maturity. Give a high regard to privacy protection to protect yourself. Avoid their grid and greed.

Joshua L. Liebman said,

Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasure for long-term values.

I add the word 'or cancels' or 'or rejects' after the word 'postpones'. "Maturity is achieved when a person postpones or cancels/rejects immediate pleasure for long-term values."

When I was young, I heard my mother telling her seamstresses that they would mention anything black to warn each other not to act positively and impulsively on something so as not to embarrass anyone. For example, there was a jewelry merchant who was very good at persuasive marketing. If anyone of them had the gut feeling that the item must not be bought, she would say to another seamstress, "Hey, I love your hair! It is very shiny and very black. What shampoo do you use?" They use color as their code of suggested rejection. In that small group of seamstresses in the old dress shop in the old public market, there was that culture of 'coding', respect, and care for each other, which all simply mirrored their maturity.

Millennials must listen to old people because they get wiser and more experienced by age. Not all challenges, small and big, can be covered by the information we gathered from the web. Every situation is unique, as the combination of what happened, person or people involved, time, place, circumstances and culture, is indeed unique, and must be handled with the required maturity.

Mature people have a clear understanding of the purpose-driven life that aims to contribute significantly to a meaningful living by letting the best come out from every person and situation.

Lindsey Vonn has a beautiful line --

In the end, it's mental maturity to let your best come out.

Indeed, it is mental maturity, and I add 'emotional maturity', to let the best come out.

Maturity is a process, from childhood to adulthood. We learn from each other and from every situation we face. Even in adulthood, maturity can be in the bud. Sometimes we say and do things the wrong way, at the wrong place, at the wrong time. It is but human. We develop maturity. It blossoms in us as we explore life and gain more and more experiences.

Alicia Keys wrote,

Maturity and experience are part of my liberation.

I passionately mature and age. Many untold unforgettable experiences are a substantial prelude to a glorious liberation.

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Photo credits:  Pixabay