Defuse Conflicts

Have you ever encountered a person who cannot control his/her anger due to other's provocation or maybe there is an enormous piling of negativity and pains inside him/her wanting to explode? There are those who are so-called war freaks, with an attitude to invite a fight.

Even if you are right, you are wrong to him/her, if you are the target of that anger. This can be dangerous. How many are killed because of extreme anger? Only recently a 22-year old boy killed (chopped) his father, 48, due to a heated argument. There was a huge rage because the father always scolded him. (Read more here.)

What is the best thing to do to defuse conflicts if you are the target of a difficult person or if there is an encounter involving a war freak?

Verbal de-escalation is a technique used to prevent crisis resulting from such a situation. There are some related trainings on this normally conducted among professionals, particularly those in healthcare services. But even without a formal training, you can do something to calm things down, more so if you are the victim.

Before responding, listen. Listen to the tone of his/her voice and body languages. Talk less, and evaluate the situation and attitude. It makes no sense to argue with a difficult person to prove that you are right. There is no reason acceptable for a mind and heart not open and willing to understand you. He/She will be judgmental and the intention is to hurt you. So ignore it. The more he/she feels that he/she has no power over you if you have no reaction.

If you talk, the difficult person will not listen, and he/she thinks that the more he/she talks, the more he/she wins the argument or encounter. When there is an audience, he/she talks a lot to get sympathy.

Just be silent. According to SivanaSpirit blog on mauna vratha  (a vow to keep silent), "Through silence, a person controls anger and speech. One grows stronger through greater determination and self-confidence. One is more at peace and free of tension. There is conservation of energy and a person experiences a greater inner strength, helping one develop into a better person."

The 'war freak' may enjoy it to dominate the air by his/her high tone voice, but in the end, he/she will hate it because he/she does not get the response he/she needs from you.

Be in control of your emotions and rationally detach yourself from the situation and the difficult person. Never allow his/her emotional outbursts come to you.

A difficult person is basically an attention seeker but he/she will label you as if you were the one, even if you do not need any attention at all, and he/she is the one who wants to attract massive attention by creating clashes and weaving stories of lies.

Once you set your boundary, the difficult person will reach as many people as possible to put you down, thinking that there will be a contagion effect and they will feel the same way as he/she does towards you. Again, ignore it. Rationally detach yourself from it all to de-escalate a potentially dangerous crisis and hellish situation.

Passionately move through it in a very calm way to defuse conflicts. Avoid difficult people as they have their own tricks to trap and wrap you in their personality.

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Photo credits:  Pixabay